As you might have heard, Juan Gonzalez of the Daily News is writing a new musical, slated to open at a Shubert theatre this fall, called "The Stadium." WestSideStadium.org has learned that he is being joined in his efforts by Mike Lupica. We have obtained, in an internets (there's more than one, you know, just ask W) exclusive, the lyrics to one of his songs, apparently meant to be sung to the tune of Stephen Sondheim and Leonard Bernstein's "I Feel Pretty."

I'm So Witty

I'm so witty,
and I'm pithy,
I'm so witty and pithy and short,
I'm so witty,
that my columns in schools should be taught.

I'm quite brilliant,
One in a million,
I'm so brilliant one in a million and keen,
I'm so brilliant,
the Pulitzer should be named for me.

See that brilliant man in the mirror there,
Such a brilliant man must be me,
So much wit, so much pith,
so much intellectual dishonesty.

(Chorus of Writers)
Have you seen that writer named Lupica,
By the Gods with him are we blessed,
You'll know him the minute you see him,
He'll hand you his column then give you a test.

Mike Lupica Column,
May 15, 2005

The mayor of money, Michael Bloomberg, needs a unanimous 3-0 vote this week from the Public Utilities Control Board if he wants to stay on his breakneck schedule - it's more manic than the television show "24" - to get the Jets their new stadium on the West Side.

If Bloomberg doesn't get the vote from George Pataki, Senate majority leader Joe Bruno and Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver, then he doesn't immediately get approval for the $300 million subsidy from the state legislature he needs as he continues to shove this stadium plan of his down the throat of his constituents.

Without those three votes and that $300 million, the IOC still doesn't see a done stadium deal in New York.

Finally, then, there could be a roadblock for Bloomberg that he can't eliminate by doing what he does best in his political life.

That always means writing another check.

Bloomberg writes checks the way Jeter goes to his right.

Bloomberg wants desperately to be remembered as the mayor who brought New York all the way back from 9/11. One of the ways he attempts to do this is by drawing an insane 11-year line from there to the '12 Summer Games. So now he arrives in the late innings of this shell game he has been running, one built around a new stadium for the Jets in the Hudson Railyards that is also supposed to bring the Summer Olympics to this city, even though that Olympic bid has always been considered a longshot at best.

If Bloomberg gets the Public Utilities Control Board to play along, the Jets get their stadium no matter what happens with the Olympics. Even more importantly, Bloomberg gets his way.

Every time you read about the cost of this stadium, the price goes up more dramatically than the cost of gasoline. I believe we are up to $2.2 billion now, nearly three times what we originally heard.

This week Shelly Silver has a chance to stand up to all of them. Stand up to Bloomberg and Pataki and look like something more than some small-timer looking for big favors from this mayor and this administration.

Silver ought to stand up to Bloomberg on this stadium deal not because of promises Bloomberg makes about the reconstruction of the World Trade Center site, but because it is the right thing to do, because there can be no other real-estate priority in this city at this time than the true rebuilding of downtown Manhattan.

Except that while Bloomberg and Pataki have become obsessed with getting this stadium built, the reconstruction plans for Ground Zero have become a bigger joke than the NHL.

Silver has indicated in the past that he sees no reason to approve this $300 million subsidy and thereby approve the stadium plan - pending all the lawsuits, of course - until he finds out whether New York is going to get the Olympics. This is only common sense. If the Jets get their stadium and New York doesn't get the Olympics, an absolute fortune in taxpayer money will go to building a football stadium that the Jets will use 10 times a year.

If you think the fact that New York gets a Super Bowl out of this once in a while justifies that fact, you are Bloomberg's favorite kind of sucker, one he doesn't have to buy to get on his side.

Michael Bloomberg's royal New York City is trying to make the same sucker argument on this stadium that has been made on all the other stadiums built in the last 15 years or so in this country, he's just doing it on a much grander and more expensive scale.

These politicians can't get it right at Ground Zero. But they want to make things right for the Jets, who according to Richard Kaplan in the Sports Business Journal are prepared to borrow more than $1 billion to hold up their end of this stadium.

You're supposed to believe they're doing it for you.

Joe Bruno is upstate, not New York City. Silver is supposed to be New York City. He has the chance to stand and deliver this week. Or roll over for the mayor of big checks, and big money, like everybody else.